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Ask Mr. Milk Bottle, Version 5.0.2

Welcome, All!

This has been another tremendous year for the Badge of Quality Corporation. We have seen a minimum of 30% increase in revenues over the past year in each of our divisions, while at the same time spending resources necessary to launch our first telecommunications satellite to further facillitate our global reach. Still, profits are staggering and the times are good!

In the coming year, the Badge of Quality Corporation will unveil another program designed to heighten consumer awareness of what the Badge is all about. Yes, that's right. The Badge is for sale! For a negotiated sum, your company, product line or service can display the Badge of Quality on its letterhead, advertising, or on the product or its packaging. Be sure to inquire about this new program at our Information Central offices in a conveniently located Milk Bottle Town near you.

When I casually announced this program at a manager's meeting not long ago, Mr. Milk Bottle expressed some concerns. (He was present only because he was taking a nap in my private offices adjoining the boardroom, exhausted from his many duties around the Corporation.) "What about unsafe products?" he cried. "What about checking for unsavory or unethical business practices? What about labor conditions? You can't buy us and our endorsement for just any old pile of money, can you??? What about the true meaning of the Badge of Quality????"

I tell you, once Mr. Milk Bottle starts asking questions, there is no putting him off. Under pressure of the possibility of a full scale revolt from every employee at the Badge of Quality, I agreed to every one of Mr. Milk Bottle's demands, no matter what the cost. A United Badge of Quality is a very Happy Badge of Quality because that's the way to truly increase our margin of profit.

And so, the new year is dawning more brightly than I imagined possible!

Very best wishes,

President and CEO, Badge of Quality Corporation

 
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